she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
