my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
