everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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