mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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