woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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