I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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