Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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