If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
