someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
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The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
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Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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