just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
