ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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