I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
