Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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