Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
