Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
