Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
