When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
