Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
