i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize