I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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