Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize