I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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