worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
