sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize