Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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