sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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