Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
