): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
