Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize