Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
