I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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