paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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