i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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