is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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