why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The struggles of a small town man whore
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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