is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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