he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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