Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
