I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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