NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
