I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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