Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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