yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
