I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
