I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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