All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
