the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
