just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
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Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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