I've blown a few things in my day
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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