Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
