Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
