I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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