He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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