The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
