official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
